In case you missed it, Valparaiso University has unveiled new logos both academic and athletic to their lineup. I’d give you a link to the new marks, but I trust in your abilities to Google it yourself.
What I don’t trust you to do is decide who the best mascot in the Horizon League is. Therefore, in honor of Valparaiso unveiling their new mascot on September 18th, PantherU.com will be ranking the worst to the best in the conference (sans Valpo) starting with the #9 mascot and working our way to #1. The next mascot will come out every two days, so be sure to come back and see where your mascot ranks.
This was a very scientific study that I’ve been putting together for years. In no way did I spend just one hour on a Monday night in August building my rankings. Mascots are rated in five sections, and in each of those sections they can score anywhere from 1 to 10. The points, added up in the end, set their ranking. I was helped by high ranking members from each Horizon League university in this highly scientific process. These should not be viewed as my own ideas but those of a collective group of non-biased, PhD-holding scholars.
The categories are: Name, In a Fight, Relevance, Love-ability and Style. The name is self-explanatory, In a Fight is how they would fare in combat, Relevance is how they fit their institution, Love-ability is the capacity for love kids and fans have for their mascot, and Style is all about trying to dress the best (which would be Villanova’s mascot, Jay Wright).
Number 9: Green Bay’s Phlash the Phoenix
Name (5): Phlash is a more fiery name than Sparky, but alludes to Phlegm. I suppose that’s relevant, because that’s what I feel coming up every time I see this thing (or is that vomit?)